How to get rid of unwanted pregnancy See details

“Congratulations, you are expecting a baby.”There is the assumption that the statement is one

news every human would be excited to hear. Yes,

if you are 36 and have been trying to have a child

for, maybe 8 years, it literally is a dream come

true. But how do you get excited with the news

when you are 16, you are a freshman in the

university and still dependent on your parents, who

are very old-fashioned and unforgiving? How do

you handle the information when you have been

out of job for over a year and you are struggling to

raise the 4 children you already have with the little

profit your wife makes from her business? How do

you feel excitement, when you are at the peak of

your career and the pregnancy will just ruin

everything you have worked for?

An unplanned pregnancy is one of the most

difficult things to deal with. Usually it comes as an

absolute shock, followed by an array of

overwhelming emotions and stress. You are filled

with feelings of fear, disbelief, confusion, panic,

guilt, and even a little shame for “letting” it

happen. And while these feelings are totally

normal, and you have the choice of saying “yes”

or “No” to the life growing inside of you or your

partner, you have to keep in mind that all future

decisions require a much needed reflective

attention; and also, while it can be a big task, it is

possible to cope with an unplanned pregnancy and

to not only survive it, but to thrive in the role of

unexpected parenthood.

An unplanned pregnancy is not something you can

just wrap your head around overnight. Coping with

it requires quite a lot. It is a deeply personal and

individual task and requires time, space and a

network of support. Usually, you are tempted to

make a rush decision upon getting the news, but

doing so when you are feeling overwhelmed and

stressed is not a good idea.

First, take a moment away from the chaotic

thoughts and conversations and reactions, think

through your situation and be sure of the

responsibilities, implications and what you want,

prior to taking action.

Do not waste time deliberating on how it

happened, who is to blame, what you did to

deserve your situation, what you were thinking or

any other questions that focuses on blame and

finding fault. Instead, ask yourself, ask questions

that help you find solutions and move forward:

“What do I need?”, “What do I want?”, “Will I be

okay?” And while it may be difficult, try to stay

objective and look at it from a general point of

view. Ask yourself: “If this were happening to your

sister or best friend, what would tell her to do and

why?” Asking these questions will help you come

to terms with your pregnancy and the life-to-come

with your child.

Once you are done deliberating and you realize the

best option is to keep the child, go on to evaluate

your immediate needs. Make a list of everything

you are unsure of or would like to learn more

about, the necessary steps you need to take to

care for both yourself and the unborn child. You

can go ahead and do some research on the

internet.

The internet has a wealth of information, however

you need to be careful not to bombard yourself

with too much information and become

overwhelmed. Being informed empowers you and

gives you the confidence to sail through your

pregnancy and look forward to the challenge of

being a parent.

Even after getting the information, go ahead and

visit a doctor for advice on medications,

excercises, and habits to drop or take on, to

ensure you and the child remain healthy. The

doctor you meet should be someone you are

comfortable with and whose advice regarding your

health, both mental and physical, you can trust.

Next, develop a support system. A problem shared

is a problem half solved. Confide in people that

you trust and respect. It could be your partner,

parents, siblings, friends or even religious leader

or counselor if necessary. Surround yourself with a

network of people and places to draw strength and

advice from. Discuss your feelings with them, your

expectations, and your needs.

If you your partner or family is not supportive, then

look for someone that you trust and feel

comfortable with or accept any offers of assistance

and rely on as many people as are willing to share

in this wonderful time of your life. You can even

join counseling groups and prenatal classes. Most

hospitals offer those.

In all you do, remain strong about your situation

rather than wallowing in self-pity. You will have

mixed feeling per time, but remind yourself daily

that it is natural to feel any number of emotions at

any time, and that you are important enough to

allow yourself the opportunity to work through

them. Try to deal with issues as they arise, to gain

a sense of control as even though the pregnancy

may not have been planned, everything you do to

deal with it from that point forward can be.

As an expectant mom, the more positive you are

about it, the better. Being an expectant mom will

certainly change most aspects of your lifestyle that

requires you taking on an entirely new perspective

on life. Take the time to consider what changes

you can make to be a parent while still aiming for

other life goals. For example, if you are still in

school, you can change your study schedule from

full-time to part-time; if you are a man who

doesn’t earn enough, you can take on a second

job to ensure you can support the mother when the

baby is born.

Some aspects of your life will be compromised,

but pregnancy is not the end of your life; it is

rather the amazing beginning of another’s.

Notwithstanding that a pregnancy may be

unplanned; bearing a child is a unique experience

and a feat that one can be proud of. It can be

overwhelming at the best of times, but like

anything in life, developing a personal action plan

will go a long way towards helping you cope with

it all and having a positive experience.​

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